Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
