There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
