Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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