3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
