you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
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YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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