You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
