i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
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today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
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I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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