My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
