She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.