question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing