I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
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Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"