Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?