Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.