Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
operation have a gay friend backfired
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
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i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.