I can't breathe out the right side of my face
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
