i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
