Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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