I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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