M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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