woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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