My hand turned me down
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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