yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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