no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
