the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize