I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
