yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
