Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless

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  (702): I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless http://tfl.nu/97sl
  Replies (18) Good night (867) Bad night (2250)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.

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  (+61): She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom. http://tfl.nu/ltjp
  Replies (43) Good night (1309) Bad night (9746)
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  (310): View more from California

  Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on

  (1-310): View more from California

  I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his

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  (310): Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on (1-310): I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his http://tfl.nu/vdif
  Replies (30) Good night (5525) Bad night (862)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?

  (917): View more from New York City

  what kind of party is this?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the best kind ever

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  (610): can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home? (917): what kind of party is this? (610): the best kind ever http://tfl.nu/ib1r
  Replies (22) Good night (7971) Bad night (1126)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma

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  (410): you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma http://tfl.nu/40s8
  Replies (9) Good night (1199) Bad night (3576)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"

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  (757): You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis" http://tfl.nu/xzec
  Replies (27) Good night (8381) Bad night (1657)
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  (951): View more from California

  We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.

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  (951): We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie. http://tfl.nu/3rqj
  Replies (5) Good night (3813) Bad night (928)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious

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  (605): Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious http://tfl.nu/m6oe
  Replies (9) Good night (4388) Bad night (729)
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  (510): View more from California

  Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"

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  (510): Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU" http://tfl.nu/83a4
  Replies (7) Good night (2509) Bad night (813)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch

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  (269): I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch http://tfl.nu/4tdt
  Replies (10) Good night (2747) Bad night (1244)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.

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  (580): That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/nlfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (579)
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  (818): View more from California

  The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.

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  (818): The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me. http://tfl.nu/w1nr
  Replies (18) Good night (5972) Bad night (542)
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  (415): View more from California

  i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.

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  (415): i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus. http://tfl.nu/s77k
  Replies (4) Good night (1038) Bad night (445)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.

  (315): View more from New York

  That's the best compliment I have ever received.

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  (813): It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina. (315): That's the best compliment I have ever received. http://tfl.nu/0q70
  Replies (5) Good night (1958) Bad night (368)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.

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  (631): Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life. http://tfl.nu/mm7p
  Replies (10) Good night (302) Bad night (959)

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