Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today