i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"