Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub

(413): View more from Massachusetts

I wish i could be there for it

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(413): Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning (1-413): More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub (413): I wish i could be there for it http://tfl.nu/f5kk

Replies (4) Good night (2521) Bad night (648)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it

(651): View more from Minnesota

nevermind its newpaper

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(651): theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it (651): nevermind its newpaper http://tfl.nu/18ms

Replies (29) Good night (5613) Bad night (1049)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day

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(973): What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day http://tfl.nu/bp9q

Replies (36) Good night (6314) Bad night (1372)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........

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(781): the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away.......... http://tfl.nu/eso1

Replies (32) Good night (904) Bad night (8514)
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(623): View more from Arizona

His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?

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(623): His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me? http://tfl.nu/w4b8

Replies (15) Good night (7012) Bad night (1182)
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(804): View more from Virginia

why weren't you at the audition last night?

(1-804): View more from Virginia

booty call before role call

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(804): why weren't you at the audition last night? (1-804): booty call before role call http://tfl.nu/sna4

Replies (17) Good night (5261) Bad night (1008)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.

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(605): and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno. http://tfl.nu/gxse

Replies (10) Good night (5944) Bad night (1050)
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(954): View more from Florida

malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away

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(954): malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away http://tfl.nu/rorw

Replies (10) Good night (3702) Bad night (1130)
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(406): View more from Montana

you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"

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(406): you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College" http://tfl.nu/x9bo

Replies (13) Good night (4083) Bad night (1079)
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(614): View more from Ohio

The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?

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(614): The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/yci0

Replies (16) Good night (4013) Bad night (699)
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(478): View more from Georgia

Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.

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(478): Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night. http://tfl.nu/09o6

Replies (3) Good night (1054) Bad night (489)
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(585): View more from New York

I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?

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(585): I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/qqo1

Replies (8) Good night (550) Bad night (420)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.

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(918): Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize. http://tfl.nu/3mfn

Replies (2) Good night (621) Bad night (360)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard

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(330): Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard http://tfl.nu/qth7

Replies (2) Good night (420) Bad night (670)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.

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(412): At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center. http://tfl.nu/9xaw

Replies (0) Good night (167) Bad night (258)

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