Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."

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  (403): The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention." http://tfl.nu/toh6
  Replies (15) Good night (2541) Bad night (730)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me

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  (973): RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO (908) dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me http://tfl.nu/s889
  Replies (27) Good night (4223) Bad night (1016)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.

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  (203): 'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/k9vf
  Replies (15) Good night (766) Bad night (3668)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.

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  (514): Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight. http://tfl.nu/evaz
  Replies (19) Good night (969) Bad night (4584)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.

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  (204): Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever. http://tfl.nu/wklp
  Replies (28) Good night (5683) Bad night (1579)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.

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  (352): He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number. http://tfl.nu/0dku
  Replies (7) Good night (898) Bad night (4472)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...

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  (303): so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob... http://tfl.nu/tixa
  Replies (34) Good night (5341) Bad night (2229)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.

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  (423): Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows. http://tfl.nu/mbnt
  Replies (11) Good night (1831) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?

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  (480): So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast? http://tfl.nu/qa47
  Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.

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  (330): I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs. http://tfl.nu/5zwg
  Replies (8) Good night (572) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced

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  (915): The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced http://tfl.nu/afn4
  Replies (5) Good night (1305) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.

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  (703): I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT. http://tfl.nu/cx57
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.

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  (206): I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night. http://tfl.nu/ej36
  Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich

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  (201): And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich http://tfl.nu/6ewp
  Replies (0) Good night (286) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.

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  (920): This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low. http://tfl.nu/h0px
  Replies (5) Good night (453) Bad night (200)

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