Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.

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(314): View more from Missouri

What happened to the watermelon?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

You fucked it.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My face left an imprint in the loaf...

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(765): View more from Indiana

Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?

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(602): View more from Arizona

Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out

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(785): View more from Kansas

SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today

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