last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?