I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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