I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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