operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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