well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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