Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
