We're facebook friends in real life
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am midnight drunk by noon
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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