I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize