Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
bring money and cleavage
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.