I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
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Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...