I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.