I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s