No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
