Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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