I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize