she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
