how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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