Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
