also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just google imaged poop.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize