Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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