maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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