you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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