The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
