So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
