didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
