these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
