have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
