dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize