I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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