Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
