Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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