I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize