I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize