Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
