What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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