She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
