I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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