I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Semen is not good for contacts.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
