Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita