I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life