If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
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He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
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god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.