ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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